A Time of Grieving

 We would love to thank everyone for your patience during my time off from blogging due to needing a time to grieve and recollect ourselves. Dear hubby has had a hard time.  The girls stayed a week with their other grandmother who we call Lolly.  Dear hubby and his sister had so many things to do concerning his mother's arrangements and affairs. They went through some important papers an such that she told them to a long time ago. Nanny  had all these things planned out years ago including her arrangements and even had her headstone and casket purchased. She had all her papers in a safety deposit box for safe keeping and made sure her kids knew what to do and such. This made it so much easier for her children. The children have already made a pack that her house is not to be sold. She worked from sun up to sun down even til the wee hrs of the morning to provide for 6 children on her own. She sweated and paid for her land and house. This woman had it all together. 

It was easier also on dear hubby to sit by her bedside just holding her had in her last few hrs. He could deal with it better and was able to tell her goodbye and know that she was happy with going home. The funeral was very lovely. Her church and 0ur church provided meals for us.  We had food for days and we were very touched by their prayers and support during that time. 

For that week the the girls were not here, dear hubby just needed time to grieve in his own way. We set most days just side by side on the couch in silence. No TV no nothing. He just needed me to hold his hand and be there. Our boys are dealing with it in their own way. I believe it hit our oldest son the hardest. So many times dear hubby has said something about needing to get up in the morning and go check on her or go somewhere for her. He had to stop himself and realize she was not here anymore. It is just such a habit of his to take care of her. It just doesn't seem real. 

We got back to normal and the girls finally got to come back to stay with us during the days.  They were so excited and missed us dearly.  We made that lost time up with them. We let them spend a few nights with us.  

Footie pjs and Curious George. My little best friends for sleep over. ❤❤🍿🍿

One day Dallas and Brylee played with the girls. When the Princess Caroline says, "Unkie Dallas, get in the castle!" you get in the castle. 

One day they came and they were not feeling good. 

Fever:✅

Comfy pallets:✅

Juice:✅

Movies:✅

Kleenex:✅

Bunch of kisses:✅✅✅✅✅

This was pretty much our day.

Dear hubby was trying to get alot of outside stuff done before he had to go back to work.  

One morning we got in the kitchen and I was teaching the girls to make homemade cinnamon rolls and they made their own. Pardon the messy hair and pjs but that's how we're Rollin that morning.  Can't get a smile out of Caroline. Just a famous Caroline Scowl. They were delicious by the way. 

It came time for dear hubby to go back to work. Oh how he has enjoyed his time off. 

Ag said let's make poppie jealous while he's at work. 😅😅😅😅🤣😅

Even Princesses 👸 can have bad days.  She has said NOPE   to almost everything all day.

Another quick cleaning tip I do is while they are getting dressed, I will clean out the tub and wash toys down and put them to dry for the next bath. My tub always stays clean. I usually get them to help after they get dressed but they stayed in the tub so long playing this particular morning that they were cold 🥶 when they finally got out. 

I have tried really hard to start potty training Caroline again. I made a sticker chart and everything and trying to make it fun. However, she is still having trouble. She just doesn't know how to yet and sometimes she is just not aware of when she is wet. We went through every single pair of training panties and alot of pants this day. 

 I'm still gonna keep trying and get her use to the potty and getting on it and one day it will click and it will be easy from there. In the mean time, she has two to choose from. 

We had another sleep over one night because Dakota had to get up early the next morning and I did not want the girls to have to get up at 3:30 am. S0 they just stayed with me. They really got to spend two nights because they worked til 8pm the next day. Dakota was so tired and sore and now he has a cold like the girls do. 

I love sleep overs because we bake cookies and have tea parties 🥳🎉

After nap today, it was  kind of ok to get outside. They weren't feeling good again today but they needed some fresh air.  We bundled up and headed outside. We couldn't stay long though because it started getting cold again. 

We came in and I warmed them up by getting them into a hot bubble bath.  Then we ate supper.  We worked together as a team and they picked up the living room while I cleaned the kitchen. I have been teaching them about teamwork for alot of reasons. It teaches them to work together, it makes our cleaning go faster and keeps them occupied so I can get my stuff done. Wholah. 

It was time for bed and we crawled up into my big bed and watched a Bible story on DVD 📀.  It's got to where these girls don't even want to go home. 😊 I'm so glad Gmaw and Poppie can make them happy and secure. 

Tomorrow will be church and then they will go home after church. They will be back bright and early Monday morning.  

The Big 18

 Even though our family is amidst grieving over the loss of dear hubby's mother,  we are dedicating today to our youngest who is so over the moon with turning 18. He is a man now and there is no telling what he's liable to do. I guess we will just see. I say that jokingly, but deep down I'm kinda hesitant. 🤣🤣🤪🤪

So Dakota decided he wanted a baby, and 18 yrs ago today he got one.  He is his brothers keeper for sure. Dallas is one blessed feller. 

You know that song,  Bad To The Bone? Well, I think they wrote it just for this guy. He is a cross between Chuck Norris and Johnny Cash. 🥋🎵

 His personality consists of, stubbornness,  hard headed, truthful (even if it hurts your feelings), a good debater (he can argue with a brick wall), independent (wants to do things his way), flies by the seat of his pants and on the wings of my prayers kind of guy, logical (he can talk about anything from politics to religion, to guns and ammo), however, I need to find a box of common sense on sale( he just lives in the moment, there is no telling what hes gonna do next), private, tough exterior(no bullying him). But at the same time, honest (even if it lands him in trouble,  he cowboys up and takes his punishment),🤠,loyal(you got a friend in him), sensitiv🦄, soft interior (he wouldn't want you to know that)🥀 determined(more like stubborn and hard headed),  moody ( he could have been a girl), 👸 witty(no telling what hes liable to say),goofy 🤡(only I get his dry sense of humor sometimes), and has a protective instinct (Silence! He will kill you!) and an "I got this"   or "I'll figure it out" mentality (usually after 10000s of times), I did not get gray hair from being a Gmaw. If ever a kid has made me step up my game on parenting, it's this guy. Phew! 🤦‍♀️  

These are all good qualities that gets him into a little trouble right now,  but someday, out in the real world  he will do great. 

Seasons and change has come into his life at times to where he's had to improvise, overcome and adapt. He will have the hang of this when he goes into the USMC one day just like dad. 🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷

Maybe someday he will finish unfinished business. 🥋🥊

I always prayed that God would use my boys and they would have a great testimony, but didn't know how much my patience would be tested and that I'd hit my knees in prayer more. This one has made me laugh,😂😂😂 made me cry,😭😭😭 made me scream, 😤😡😱made me want to pull my hair out, pray the hardest, 🙏🙏🙏and longest soooooo....his testimony better be GREAT.  

But you know what I like most about this guy? HE'S MINE!!!!!!  He is just like me and my mini me. I can't think of anyone I'd rather have on my team or have my back. 

Son, always do the RIGHT thing, always trust God to lead and guide you. I want you to dream big, but at the same time play it smart and safe. 

I hope you have a very Happy birthday 🎂🎂🎉🎉

We love you very much and never forget that.  We just want the best for you and for you  to grow into a respectable man full of honor,  dignity and integrity.  Always do your best even if you don't  know why you're doing it. 

We love you son. HAPPY BIRTHDAY

We went in this morning and woke him up. 

No more sleeping in, you're 18 now. Welcome to adulthood.  🤪🤪🤣🤣

We all got dressed and took him to brunch. We played a few games of pool. 

I don't ever win anything. But I W0N.  🤣🤣 . It took me 20 tries to chase that little black ball around.

We got back home and we all took naps. Dear hubby has not slept good the past few days. He is getting wore out. 

Dallas got up and got ready because he started a new job today. Yep, he decided he wanted to get him a night shift job. 😴 He says he has trouble sleeping anyway so he wants to try it. Who knows, it may be right up his alley. He may pull this off. My biggest worry is how he is going to be able to sleep with two toddlers running around. 🏃‍♀️😅  we may have to get him something to stuff in his ears or something. He also said when he gets off work he can probably go to grandmothers house and sleep, then come home. This is a good option since she doesn't need to be alone now. We will just have to play this out.

He wants to be treated more like a man and we totally get it. He wants to earn his man card and right of passage into adulthood.  That's what we have been trying to raise him to do for 18 yrs. It's hard as parents to let go of our children and them go out into the real world. 

He will not get off work until the morning, so it is just me and dad the rest of the night. 

Our Hearts Are Broken

  It is with sadness that I am posting that my dear hubby has lost his mother. She passed this morning and it has been a rough day. We are all just now dispersing to our own homes to get some rest. Funeral arrangements will be made tomorrow morning.  We are all at peace with this because she went peacefully in her sleep, no pain or suffering. She is with her Savior now and running up and down the streets of gold. I know without a doubt she found her other children and hugged them tight. ♥

Saturday Tidbits

  Today has been a day of just spending time with family. 

Dear hubby got up this morning and got ready and went to his moms first.  I had a slower start to my day. After not getting home until after 1am, I was just sluggish this morning.  I finally got enough caffeine in me and got in shower 🚿 and got ready and left to go to her house. We changed shifts and sent some home to rest. 

Hospice came out and cleaned and changed her and her linens. They gave her something for pain and finally got a catheter in to drain her bladder. 

This is all we can do at this point is just to keep her comfortable. Family is discussing things to do. We are still waiting on a son to fly in from out of town. 

Friday Tidbits

 Well, this morning 🌄 that alarm ⏰went off at 5:30am. I woke up kind of refreshed. 

Got up and had our coffee ☕ and got cups of milk ready for girls. They were in a good mood this morning.  

They just wanted some cereal for breakfast and dear hubby made us some sausage and biscuits. It is the deer sausage he processed himself and it is delicious. 

He cleaned his mess up. He has always known how to clean up after himself since he was a teenager. His momma worked a full time job and then came home and worked in the garden harvesting, bringing it in and processing it. Sometimes she was up until 2 am canning. Then have to get up at 5 or 6 am and get ready for work. She is one strong 💪woman. So dear hubby would come in from school or work and cook 🍳 supper for them and clean the kitchen. He is such a good son  and I am one blessed wife. 

I escaped to the bathroom and took a quick shower and got ready. I wanted to look a little nicer today for my sweetheart. He was entertaining the girls 👧

Some days by the time I get out of the shower and getting ready, I'm pooped 💩. I am just not as young as I use to be. 

I ran them some bath 🛁 water and they took a bubble bath. Another trick I use to multi-task,  is Swiffer the floors with my Swiffer wet jet while they are in the tub. That way they are not under foot. They weren't ready to get out when I was done so,  I folded some laundry and put it away in our closet. Mind you, they were in eye sight. Our bedroom is connected to our master bath so I could see them. Our closet door is right in the bathroom. 

They got ready and wanted to play for a bit. Well, Caroline followed me and raised her little arms up and said, "I want you." So I knew it was time to just sit down and hold little Princesses 👸.  

I was tired by then so I told them to grab some books and we would sit down a few minutes and just read. Then they wanted their princess castle put up so......

They grabbed them some books and retreated to their castle with lots of imaginative play. At least they were getting along. 😇

While they were playing, I started cleaning and organizing on my bedroom. 

I took a break on the room, because it was lunch time for them to eat. 

Naptime came next. Caroline was getting sleepy. After naptime we had a snack and coffee. 

Dear hubby has been at his mommas house all day sitting with her and his sister. He ran some errands for them. 

It wasn't long til Dakota came to pick up the girls. They were going home to get ready because they were going to a rodeo. We love us some rodeos.  

I had been cleaning on and off on our bedroom all day.  Man, was it so unorganized.  So when they left I tackled some more. Dear hubby came in and cooked supper and got comfy. 

We were eating supper and planning on watching a movie when the phone rings and it is his sister. She needed him to come back to his mommas house. She was getting worse. He leaves.  I get back to doing what I was doing and he texts and asks if I wanted to come see her. I knew right then something was wrong. I quickly threw my day clothes back on and left. I got to her house and everyone was there, no where to park. My heart sank. ❤.  I walked in and everyone was in her room by her bedside. I found dear hubby and went to his side. They were letting her FaceTime with a grandson and his family out of state. She can't talk but is coherent. She is getting weaker everyday. Her kidneys are failing and they are beyond dialysis or anything. She does not want to go back to hospital.  This was her decision from the beginning. All they can do now is keep her comfortable.  All I could do was comfort my dear hubby. He has been so devoted to her all his life. He has been the spoiled baby of the family all his life. There is a story that I will share of their relationship but it will have to wait. I will be working on a page I want to add to our blog in the future. 

Last night, she would look at him and just give the sweetest smile from ear to ear at him. It melted his heart and I know he will always see it when he thinks of her. When I sat beside her, she smiled at me with approval and grabbed my hand so tight and did not want to let go. To be like this woman or my mother will be an honor that I hope I can live up to. If we could all have her heart, this world would be a better place. 

She began to get settled and eventually was able to rest.  His sister and niece sent everyone home. I am so glad we have so many nurses in our family and some are in the medical field. Three family members have been in home care givers for the elderly, 4 family members are Nursing Home Administrators,  and two nurses. 

It is 2 am and we are all exhausted.  We would covet your prayers. 

One Of Those Days

 Well, today has been one of those days.  We had a rough night last night. I managed to get the girls in bed early. However, I don't know what was wrong but they woke up several times a piece. They had a couple of dreams. Dear hubby didn't get home from his mother's house until midnight. They got her in and all settled. He wanted to make sure she was OK before he left. 

We were both so exhausted this morning but much to our surprise, the girls were in good moods. Dear hubby said Atleigh was just like me, chattering first thing. 🤪bless his heart ❤.  

They played really good together today. All they wanted to do was put on Princess dresses and do school. 

I threw something in the crockpot for supper.  

We made it to naptime and we all crashed. We got up and had coffee ☕and milk 🥛 and a snack since supper was just in a few hours. 

Dakota got off work and came and picked them up. 

All I had to do was just add some sides to what I had in the crockpot.  While the sides were cooking, I speed cleaned the kitchen. We ate supper 🍽 and dear hubby made us a fire in the fireplace.  We just enjoyed some down time for the rest of the night. 

Wednesday Tidbits

 Well, we are all having trouble waking up this morning.  I woke up before alarm. At 5am. I'm already having trouble waking up. Coffee ☕ didn't even help. The girls got here around 6:30am. They are having trouble waking up. Makes me wonder what time they got in bed. We are just chilling on the couch and watching Scooby Doo. 

I think today is just going to be a day of play and just chilling out. Maybe movies and coloring and etc. 

I did manage to do my stretches after breakfast. Other than that, I have no energy. Some days you just have to go with the flow. 

Tonight we will go to church and eat and go to class. I do not cook on these days. 

I am staying away from all news today and probably for a long time. I made this decision a while ago to just turn off the news and get back to family. People should try it. I need my peace of mind. 

Enjoy the pics of our times of enjoyment.  

I've had to calm temper tantrums, settle disputes,  do alot of explaining why we can't be ugly to our sister, ease fears and the likes of what goes through toddlers minds. It has been one of those days. 

We had a good night at church ⛪.  The girls got to get their mind on something else and let off some steam and be around some fresh faces. 

They are spending the night with me.  Dakota has been so overwhelmed with confusion and thoughts the past few days and just needed some time to himself to try to work some things out in his head. God is doing some work on some situations and I am so glad. I have come to realize when you ask God to work in your family, you have to get out of his way so he can. I have always tried to fix my kids problems for them. It's hard to let go sometimes because that is just my heart and how it works with my kids. I've poured 23 years into my oldest son and 17 into our youngest. It's hard for me to step aside but God has also been showing me some things too. 🙏 He is also working in me. 

Dear hubby went to the hospital today to stay with his mom. He let me know while we were at church that she was being discharged and they were waiting on an ambulance to come transport her home. He will get home late. It is 9pm and they haven't left hospital yet. 

I've got the girls in bed and maybe they will sleep better tonight and we will have a better day tomorrow. No 5:30 am alarm for me. 😁🤪 

Tuesday Tidbits

I woke up at 3:45 am and had to pee. I had trouble going back to sleep. I had to force myself. I only had an hr and a half left til time for alarm ⏰.  🤪 I use to could just pop right up out of bed. Now, it takes me a while. I finally dozed back off and then, bam, alarm goes off. I got up, made ☕and let it touch my soul. ❤ I read my devotions for the morning and prayed. Some prayers are being slowly answered and imma just gonna wait. I would love to tell you some now, but I don't want to jinx anything. 

The girls got here and we watched a few minutes of cartoons. Then they got hungry. I pulled out some waffles 🧇 I made and froze, and heated them up and they picked out their sprinkles. They ate every bite and licked the sprinkles off the plate. 😁 

I fixed me and dear hubby some breakfast and I ate. Hubby had a rough night and just couldn't hardly wake up yet. They played a few minutes while I ate mine. 

I got finished and did my stretches. Atleigh was right along with me. I have missed her the past two days. She's my partner and motivation. 

Now it's on to showers and baths 🛁.  

I got my shower first while they played with Poppie a few minutes. Then I  spruced myself up for my man. Just because I stay home doesn't mean I still don't try to make myself up for him. We keep that spark going as much as we can. 

I will tell y'all a trick I have for cleaning my shower. The night before I plan to clean, I will spray my shower down with my homemade cleaner and let it soak over night. When I get done showering, I will take a cleaning rag and wipe down walks and glass doors. Then rinse if off. Now mind you none of this gets on me. I'm already in the shower 🚿so why not? I kill two birds 🐦with one stone.  

I ran their bath 💧. While  they were in the bath, I took advantage of that time and cleaned some things. Wiped off our counter, sinks and mirror.

Then they got out one by one and I help and teach them how to get dressed and take care of themselves. 

We go in the living room and I have to put some clothes on to wash. Then we get in the kitchen and make a treat. Oh yes, we made Reecees peanut butter cup blossoms. 

They tossed back and forth between helping me with the treats and playing with Poppie. 

I make them some cheese qusedillas and I have a tuna wrap.

Dear hubby had to go to his mommas house and wait on them to deliver her hospital bed. They got it all set up and ready to go for when they discharge her. 

It was nap time for us then. 

The girls are getting use to getting their own beds down and get it ready to sleep on. 

We got up from nap and had coffee and snack and Atleigh wanted to do school 🏫

Then I folded laundry. 

Poppie came back around then and their attention was on him again. He kept them busy so I could fix supper. I made sweet and sour meatballs. Pioneer Woman recipe and her sesame noodles. Along with some fried rice. 

I made the mistake this morning of not emptying out the dishwasher so my dishes kind of piled up on me today. Hey, some days are better than others. Today was 0ne of those days. After we ate Atleigh just wanted me to sit and hold her. Sometimes you just have to do what's best at the time. Especially when they say, "Gmaw, I want you."  

Dakota came and picked them up. He went to the hospital to see nanny. They were ready to go home. 

After they were gone, I got my kitchen cleaned. Sometimes things will go perfect in your day and by your schedule and sometimes they want. Just give yourself grace and rearrange. Marine Corp motto is, Improvise,  Adapt, and Overcome.