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When I was little, I always knew I wanted to be a house wife and have alot of children. I wanted to be just like my grandmother. That Proverbs 31 Woman. You can find her in Proverbs 31:10-31. I think that is why I never went to college, there was no other profession for me out there. I am now exactly what I said I wanted to be. This is my passion along with being a wife.
God blessed me with a good man who has the same thinking as I do about family and children. He has always loved children. Even growing up he always played with the children anytime family got together. They were drawn to him like honey. However, it took us 6 years to conceive our first little blessing. I just knew something was wrong. We tried and tried everything everyone suggested. I cried out to God just like Hannah did in I Samuel. Finally, I just decided, ok, it's me, I'll go have myself checked. Well, no problems. Then I told David he needed to go have himself checked. Well, you know how that went. UHUH!! No way, no how. Finally, we just said, "You know what, if it happens it just happens, if not we'll think of something else."
Well, not much longer and I was headed to the dr. wondering what in the world is going on with me. My hormones were outrageous, I could scratch you eyes out without thinking. I was moody, always tired. You know, the symptoms that didn't dawn on me. He came back into the room and I just knew he was going to give me some bad news like I was going to die or something. He said, "Well, you've got 7 months." oh crap, I thought, then he concluded..."and your going to be a mother, nothing is wrong, your just pregnant." I about fell off the bed, I cried and cried and cried.
I came home to tell David and we had been planning on starting a new house for us. Well, he was so concerned about what the dr. said that I came out and told him, "When we build a house we have got to make one room a nursery." Uh,,, it didn't register, then all the sudden, it hit him...I think I saw tears. He was speechless, all he could do was hug me tight and not say a word. You see, even when we were dating, that's all he talked about was having children. He has a love for kids that's unreal and they are drawn to him. Who wouldn't be.
Now starts our plans to rolling. It was a long 7 mths I tell you.
One night while we were eating supper, I felt a leak. Uh Oh! what was going on. I called the hosp and asked them what should I do. They said my water was leaking to give it a while and see if it does it anymore and if it did for me to come in. We get to the hospital and nothing. I get sent home.
Well, the next few days were miserable, no sleep cause I was having those dang Braxton Hicks Contractions. This went on for days, not to mention my water was still leaking every once in a while. Finally, one night I am having real contractions and call David at work and tell him we need to go. He came home from work after being at work already for 11 hrs just about and being on swing shift doesn't help either. We get to the hospital and they still want just go ahead and break my water. I lay in this hospital all night again having these contractions. We call my parents now regrettably because you see my daddy's daddy had just passed away two days before and they were at the funeral home for his viewing. My daddy was emotional and torn at the same time. We told them not to come, but how do you make a decision like that. We did not want them to leave his daddys side or family if it was another false alarm. They made that decision on their own. After the viewing, they went home and changed and came to hospital. It was beginning to be the wee hrs of morning and no one has had any sleep. My poor hubby is about to fall asleep on me but he is so strong.
Everything starts happening at once, I'm freezing to death, I'm so nervous I'm shaking. My legs want be still and I'm in pain, now, real pain for I was in labor. I so wanted to have this baby natural, but David could not stand to see me in pain and chased someone down the hall yelling at them telling them to give me something now. I was so nervous and shaking so bad my legs would not be still, they said there is no way we can give her an epidural until she is still. So they had to give me something to calm me down. Boy, that felt food. I didn't feel a thing after that, not even contractions, or the epidural, so when he said it was time to push, I didn't know when to cause I wasn't feeling anything but goodness. I was having trouble getting him out. I pushed for 4 hrs. straight til I felt all the blood to my head. My momma and sweet husband are about to fall asleep. But finally my dr has this bright idea to get 3 nurses on top of me and push down own my belly to help. Well, that didn't help cause come to find out, this little blessing was curled up in a ball, every time I pushed he would peek and when I stopped he scooted right back up inside. Contrary little blessing. The dr. has another bright idea to finally just reach up in there and get him. WE COULD HAVE DONE THAT 4 HRS AGO I'M THINKING.
Then our little blessing is out. They clean him and give him to me. Let me tell you it is a feeling of awe I will never forget. I cried and cried all over again. All I could say over and over was, "Thank You Lord, Thank You Lord"! and that's all. David was strutting around like that proud father. But he was emotional as well. I saw tears again. He could not stop looking at his beautiful son. I know all the thoughts that was going through his head cause they were going through mine as well. Yea, we were thinking now starts our journey into Parenting. Now time to fulfill all the promises we made about family.
The day we were getting ready to go home from the hospital, it was the day they were burying my daddy's daddy. This was a hard time for my daddy. One love left the world and one came in. This has been the only reason why it has been a little easy for my daddy to deal with this time of year. Dakota was born on Dec. 19. Christmas, just a week later. From the 17th to after Christmas my daddy has a hard time. But when he's around Dakota the burden is lifted somewhat.
I know that was a long story but it is my right to share it as any mother shares her birthing stories. I EARNED IT BY GHOLLY!!!!
The night feedings start, the loosing sleep starts, and the colic starts. Every night like clock work I knew I'd better have everything done. I would have to sit down by 8 pm cause he was going to cry his head off til 12 am. Never failed. Then at 12 am it always cut off like a faucet. Amazing. It finally went away. Then we go on another bedtime schedule, one I will always cherish. Every night I rocked him to sleep and sang to him with his little head on my chest as he peacefully went to sleep. David bought me a rocker just for this purpose. I still have that rocker today. David wanted to name him Dallas at first when we were picking out names, but I told him not this one. I wanted Dakota. He said ok.
Dakota has always been our little cowboy. I think he was born in a pair of Wranglers. He loved his hat, jeans, boots, chaps and spurs. Yes, he even wore them to church. When he walked in church he knew his hat came off, but the minute they preacher said Amen at closing, he was out the door with that hat on. He was a gentlemen. My mother was his baby sitter for me while I worked at the time. This was a blessing cause I did not want to have to take him to someone or somewhere I did not know and I had no peace that no one could take care of him like I could. She was wonderful and Dakota was spoiled rotten and I wouldn't have it any other way. He has a relationship with my parents, his grandparents just like I did with mine growing up. It was a special bond. And still is. David has always included Dakota in everything, even at 3 it was skinning out deer and going hunting, this was his little man and now he gets to teach all these things to. David is one proud daddy.
Then we knew we wanted another child, but we wanted to wait until Dakota was ready cause we wanted to give him all our attention. But then something happened.
When Dakota was 5 yrs old, he came in our room, climbed up in our bed and announced that he wanted a baby. We were shocked. We knew then that he was ready. So, we told him we needed to pray about it. So he bows his little head and puts his hands together and prays for a baby. Well, the next morning, he gets up, goes out the front door and is looking for something. We ask him what is he looking for and he quickly says, "My baby!" Oh my goodness, we had some explaining to do. So we come back inside and explain to him that God has to put one in my belly. Then the questions start. We told him we didn't know how long it would take for God to do that, but as soon as we found out something, he would be the first one we told. Well, it took a long 5 months. For him anyway. I skipped a cycle and got a pregnancy test and it was positive. So the first person we tell is Dakota. He is so excited and wants to know when can he have him. Here goes the explaining again of how this all works. I tell him his baby (he called it his baby from the beginning. He never called him his brother) has to grow inside my belly before he can come out to play. That was the longest 7 1/2 months of his life. I told him that my belly would have to get about the size of a watermelon before it was time. Everyday, he would have to check my belly. He would raise my shirt up and let out a big sigh. Poor feller. We start to pick out names, so my dear hubby asks, "Now, can I have a Dallas?" We found out we were having another boy. So I told him, "Yes, now you can have Dallas."
Finally the big day arrives. I wake everybody up at 3 am in the morning and say its time to go. I was having contractions and they were about every 5 minutes apart. Dakota was up and ready before daddy. We get to the hospital and my dr is on vacation so they have to call the dr that is on call. He goes ahead and breaks my water for me. I still laid there for a while before anything happened. They had to wait for me to dilate. I finally dilated enough to get me into a room and give my epidural. Everything happened so fast again. We had it arranged for Dakota to be in the delivery room as well. After all, this was his idea. They get me prepared, give me my epidural and let them come back in. My mom and dad are there too. My mom is in there again with me. Finally, I have dilated enough that its time to push. It is so funny, cause just like before, my mom and dear hubby are about to fall asleep. So Dakota is so excited and wide awake. Poor feller, he would not go back to sleep for anything. He was too pumped with adrenaline. He was talking to me and helping me through the pain. Finally, I tuned everyone out but him. He was the best coach ever. And no, you can't borrow him. LOL. When the dr would say it was time to push, he would start counting and encourage me. Then, out came Dallas. The dr spanked him on the butt and OH MY GOSH! Dakota got so mad and wanted to know why he did that. From then on, the dr explained everything he was doing and why. The nurses did too. They covered me up and Dakota went running around to the table where they were taking care of Dallas and was asking a million questions. They were telling him every thing they were doing. When they finished with Dallas, Dakota ran out of the room and ran through the waiting room and swung those big doors open and shouted, "The baby is out!" then came running back in the room. Then they told him they had to take him to the nursery and check him some more while they got me settled in a room. It was a while but poor feller still wouldn't sleep for nothing and Daddy and I were in need of a much needed nap. Finally I hear the screaming coming from the end of the hall way. Yep, we always knew it was him by his cry.
We finally got to go home. Every where we went with Dallas, Dakota was so protective. Well, that is an understatement. He didn't want nobody to touch him, rub him, hold him, much less, look at him. He finally relaxed a little. He was and still is the best brother ever. He took care of his baby and taught him everything. He played with him and loved on him and protected him. And he still does. These are precious memories to me of my children's births.
So, you're going to have a baby or planning on having one. Or this may be your 2nd or more child. Well, whether it is a surprise or planned, or next child, you better be ready. Having children is not for the weak. I am not discouraging anybody, but I do want you to understand what you are going to encounter. There will be sleepless nights, exhaustion, irritability, worries, anxiety, stress etc. But don't worry, all of this is natural and some brought on by circumstances. However, with a good plan in place alot of these can be eased a bit. If you are planning and trying, you have a head start. If you just found out, you better get a move on. If this is a situation that you have become pregnant by your own choice or by force (rape), and you are unsure about keeping it, please seek pregnancy counseling. All babies are miracles and blessings from God, no matter how they were conceived. There is help out there. There are families who would love to adopt your baby and love it as their own. There are so many women who cannot conceive and men who are sterile, that they are longing for a baby to hold. You just might be the answer to their prayers. If you are a single mother, please don't be afraid to reach out for help. Family, friends, churches, etc. You can do this.
Now, lets see if I can remember some parenting tips. Surely I'm not so old that it has left my memory. However, since I have grandchildren now, my mind is being refreshed. LOL.
I want to go on the record as saying this. There is a huge difference between first baby and other children later. The first child you have, you are a nervous wreck. Partly because you don't know what to do but also you are so afraid you're going to screw things up. You are scared, anxious, and you want to be the perfect parent. The second one comes along and you are more relaxed because you have learned some things and you have learned not to stress out or get so uptight over. That everything is going to be ok. You learned alot of things by trial and error, mostly error but you learned. Now, you kind of know what to do.
The first book I would recommend is this one: It helped me so much to understand what was going on with my body and baby. Hence, what to expect. Every woman is different with pregnancies. Some go through it like a champ, others, not so much. My first pregnancy was awesome. No morning sickness, I had energy, and I could sleep good. The second, I was sick, no energy whatsoever, I wanted to sleep all the time. Could not get comfortable. Every pregnancy will be different too. Don't let a dr or anyone freak you out and start telling you that you should be doing this at this stage and that at that stage. Don't compare yourself to other pregnant women. Every birth is different too. So don't get discouraged or scared. Please get prenatal care to make sure you and baby are healthy.
Here are two books that absolutely help with the first year of your babies life. The first one I had when Dakota was born. There is now a second edition out which has added alot more over the years since alot of things have changed. I would rate these books right up there as important as my Bible. I have the second book again now so I can refresh my memory. I absolutely love it.
Now I have this book that picks up where the last one ends:
The number one thing to remember when having a baby is to know not every baby is the same. You can have 9 kids and you will have 9 different personalities. No two kids are the same. Both our boys are day light and dark in some things and then again they are alike in some ways. For instance: Dakota was very independent. Dallas, not so much. He was clingy. Dakota could keep himself busy playing for a while so I could get some things done. Dallas, was so leechy that I couldn't put him down for one minute. He did not like being left alone or to play by himself. I could not get out of his sight for anything. Not even to go to the bathroom. Just to take a shower, if I got one, I would have to put him in something and strap him in so I could take a shower. Needless to say, as soon as I got behind the shower curtain, the screaming would start. One time I was so tired of his crying that Dakota came in there and got him and took him in the living room and as soon as daddy walked in the door from work, he handed him to daddy trying to keep him out of trouble. LOL. Dallas was 13 yrs old before he finally grew out of being clingy. We would go to ballgames or church and he would move people over just so he could squeeze in between us to sit beside me. He was a mommas boy. Dakota was a mommas boy until daddy took him hunting for the first time when he was 3 yrs old, then daddys boy it was. So you see, every child is different. They learn different and at different paces. Don't fret if one or all children are not doing things at the same time your oldest was doing things or someone else's child is doing things. Please don't compare your child or children to someone else's. Dakota has turned out to be a replica of his daddy through and through. Dallas, however, is my minime. Lord, help us.
Prepping For Baby: During pregnancy is the time to prep and take care of your body, but also your nursery. I would start buying some essential things. Big items like furniture. Crib, bassinet, play pen (pack and play is the best, multiple uses and you can condense on space), swing, dresser, changing table, etc. If you can find an item that gets multiple uses, go for that. Small items such as, blankets, onesies, sleepers, socks, diapers, wipes, etc. Baby showers come in handy too. Register at multiple places. Start washing items and having them all ready. Get the nursery ready. Why not? It will make the time go by faster and you will be well prepared. Now is a good time to start discussing and planning some time management skills with your partner for when the baby arrives and how to get siblings involved in baby and mommy care when you get home. (If there is siblings). It might be a good idea to prep some make ahead meals and put them into the freezer. You are going to need your energy to take care of yourself and the baby. It is nice to pull those meals out of the freezer and still have supper on the table.
Here are some awesome, economical, multi use baby items that I purchased. I needed as many uses per dollar that I could get to save space. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my stroller. I call it the Gmaw Mobile. I have a pic of it below on my Gmaw Hacks but it doesn't have the shades on it because I was cleaning out my truck that particular day. It grows with them from infant to 6 or 7 yrs old. I have a Graco Infant Carrier that connects into the upper portion too. You would just have to check it out. More bang for the buck.
I love this idea right here. This served my purpose really well. Now, there are all kinds of designs and better ones. However, I loved this one because when it converted to a table and chair, I used it for school, craft and art projects, and teaching them how to eat at a grown up table. Good restaurant practice too. I put a plastic table cloth underneath it to catch any spills or crumbs. Easy clean up. And look, you even get a little rocking chair too. Awww.....
And this baby is right up there with my Gmaw Mobile. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my carseats. This baby goes from infant all the way up to 8 or 9 maybe 10 yrs old depending on the height and weight requirements for car/booster seat safety for your state. Try to catch these when they are on sale. For that price for up to 10 yrs of use, I couldn't pass it up. So far I have two. Each grandchild will get one.
Couldn't do without one of these either. Especially if I had work to do or cooking and they were clingy. I wore them babies. lol
A white noise machine was a must for us too. There is just something about them that can calm a fussy baby. Not to mention, they drown out noise to help not disturb sleeping baby. You can find one that has multi functions. Different sounds, lullabys, and a little ambient night light if they don't like the dark. Well, you may not discover that until they get older.
These are just a few of my favorites. Do some searching and buy when they are on sale if at all possible. Register for them on your baby registry for your baby showers. When searching for a crib, we found one that goes from crib to full size bed. Grows with them. It is awesome.
Birthing Plan: Have a birthing plan in place. Some women want hospital births or women center births. Some want home births, which I might add are getting more popular. Check your options, discuss them with your partner. Get your hospital bag and diaper bag ready. Know whether or not you are going to have an epidural or natural birth. Discuss this first. I was insistent on a natural birth but the first sign of contractions and pain, my husband was chasing the nurse down to give me something. Bless him.
Feeding: determine a plan for how you are going to feed the baby. If you are unsure, just read and research. Do what is most comfortable for you. I will say, breast feeding is best because of all the nutrients in mothers milk. However, I never produced milk after trying and trying and had to bottle feed. It was very depressing for me, because I desired to breast feed so bad. It is totally up to you and don't let anyone discourage you from doing what you feel is right for you, baby, and life circumstances. When it comes time to start introducing baby food, your baby will start giving signs. They will still be hungry all the time, looking at you and interested in what you are eating and want to pull it to their mouth or try to take it from you. I believe in baby lead weaning. You can research it. Doctors are always telling moms not to start feeding them baby food until at least 4 to 6 mths. Every baby has different metabolisms. Mine hit three months and they acted like they were starving. I started out with watered down cereal. Rice is the most gentle to start with first. They would get full and happy. Sometimes you have to watch your babies cues. They will let you know. You can prepare your own baby food by cooking it and then pureeing it in a blender and storing it. Research that option too. There is tons of info out there. When they hit the toddler years, they will go through stages where they want hardly eat at all. This would always scare me to death. I would worry myself into a frenzy. Trust me when I say, when they get hungry, they will eat. Some babies and kids do not require many calories to satisfy them or need them to grow. One of our granddaughters was this way. She is petite and she ate like a pig but she gained weight slowly. It was just her frame. Now she's just fine. Another granddaughter was a picky eater and she grew like a weed overnight. Go figure.
Home After Birth: Now you are home from the hospital, and you may start getting a little nervous, especially if this is your first. Man, I know I was. The first time ours woke up in the night for the first time, I was shaking so bad I could not even pick him up. Sweet hubby had to. They do not come with instruction manuals and every baby is different. This is where learning your baby comes in handy. You have to take care of yourself, newborn, siblings (if there is any) and husband. Now is a good time to implement those time management skills you planned with your partner. Get children involved in helping around the house if they are old enough. Toddlers are so capable of helping and they really desire helping. They can bring you small things like wipes, diapers, bottles, etc. They can even watch and this is a perfect opportunity to teach your young ones. Take your time, you do not have to be Superwoman. The important thing is, to take care of your body and the baby. The best advice I was given was to sleep when the baby sleeps. Sleep when other children are taking naps. Boy, if you can syncronize nap times that would be great. This may be the only rest you get for a while. Find someone to entertain the baby and other children so you can shower. Self care is still important. Do not let yourself get down physically, or mentally. If you start getting wore down because of exhaustion, reach out for help. Grab one of those meals out of the freezer that you preprepped. They come in so handy. And a fresh meal will be on the table. This is very doable, it just takes some creativity.
Immunizations: I can't remember when exactly they start giving immunizations. I believe they give some in the hospital or at first well baby visit. No one can tell you what to do in this area. If you have convictions or religious beliefs that go against immunizations or vaccinations, please discuss them with your doctor. This is a decision that is strictly up to you and the father.
Postpartum Depression: Please be on the look out for this, especially husbands. 99% of fathers do not recognize it, or even know how to help. Women know that something is wrong but can't explain it or sometimes don't recognize it either. Some don't reach out for help. Men, please, please pay attention in this area. this is a delicate and serious problem. Some women have gotten into such a dark place with this that they have committed suicide or harmed the baby. It is a chemical imbalance of the brain that occurs after giving birth when the hormones are so out of whack per say. It will take a while for her hormones to get back to normal. She is also sleep deprived and drained of any ounce of energy at the moment. The last thing on her mind is wanting another human being touching her. Please pay attention to any warning signs such as negative feelings about herself as a mother, anxiety over the baby like overly concerned that it creates paranoia, hostility toward the baby or irritability toward everyone, extreme guilt, exhaustion, lack of motivation to do anything, ignoring self care, panic attacks, appetite changes (not eating), lack of sex drive, worsening depression. These are all clear warning signs that need to be watched carefully. If you notice any of these please get her some help, be her supporter. Get someone in to help with some of the duties. Make sure she is taking care of herself. Ladies, please don't ignore these signs either. If you are feeling any of these, please speak up, ask for help. Make an appt with your dr. Remember 99% of husbands do not know what to do during this time. They do not know what to look for, no one prepared them for this, please tell them how to help you and men, please listen. She is silently crying out for help. Whatever you do please do not let resentment towards your husband or wife come in. This leads to bitterness. Those two things are very hard to overcome.
Sex After Birth: Well, we have to cover this one. Ladies, don't forget, your husband still needs attention too. He may start feeling left out if you are so consumed with taking care of the baby. Please, ask for help, take care of yourself for your spouse, you and your baby. Husbands, she needs time to heal. It is your place to take care of her and nurture her. Remember the vow, In sickness and in health? Well, this is where you come in at. It takes patience. She will need clearance from her Dr. As soon as he gives the redlight, GO!!!!!!! Now, this is another area where time management skills are going to come into play. Kids are already demanding little creatures, but throw in a newborn with that and ....you get it. You may have to plan times for intimacy, privacy and date nights. You still have to stay focused as a couple. You still need some time together. Discuss this area if there is beginning to be a problem or a strain.
Co-sleeping: This is a gray area and needs to be addressed. I have been on both sides of this. I sleep trained one and the other had to sleep in my bed or no one slept. I mean NO ONE. The sleep trained one was so peaceful at bedtime and slept all night, no problems. With the youngest, he had seperation issues. If he didn't hear me, feel me, see me, etc., he would scream his head off. I tried every sleep training trick in the book. After weeks of changing the crib sheet so much every night because he would literally throw up from crying so much. I threw in the towel. Dear hubby made the decision to put him in the bed with me and he would go to the couch. Phew! We were beginning to get some sleep. I think I talk more of this later down on the page. The only problem with co-sleeping is the danger of suffication, or someone rolling over on them. I explain this more later on down the page. It also interferes with the intimacy stage of parenting. Co-sleeping is a delay on teaching them how to fall asleep on their own independently and never learning self soothing. It is putting off the inevitable. It will eventually have to be done. It may be worse the older they get. Since our youngest was delayed in this and he co-slept with me, I truly believe it caused problems later on down the road. He always had trouble falling asleep, staying asleep just sleeping problems in general. Then grandbabies came along and since their mommy let them sleep on her chest for months after birth, that's all they knew. So guess what Gmaw has to do? Yep, sleep with babies on my chest. That was the only way we could get them to get any sleep and ourselves too. Since I kept them everyday, I was able to eventually sleep train them. Now they have no problem. My point being, all babies are different and adjustments will have to be made according to each child. Alot of moms co-sleep especially if they breast feed. Just roll over, grab baby and bam, start feeding. lol. Sometimes, it's doing what ever is best for you and your family and the circumstances.
Colic. Oh boy! Not fun at all. There are alot of soothing techniques that can be done such as swaddling, white noise, etc. You can google these things and get more ideas. Like I said, things have changed all these yrs and I'm learning things all over again with our grandchildren. There are homeopathic remedies out there too, like colic tablets by Hylands, gripe water, Mylacon gas drops, (if I spelled it correctly) and essential oils preferably massaged on the bottom of the little feet. Lavender is good, ( be careful and do research with essential oils, some are safe for babies used certain ways and some are not). Some people have had success with a Chiropractor to relieve colic symptoms. Research it. We had to take one of the granddaughters to one and it helped tremendously. Didn't know a thing about it when our oldest had it. Some babies have it 24/7 some only have it a few hours at a certain time each day. Colic and crying can drive a person to insanity. You have to have patience and nerves of steel. Please, for the love of God, under any circumstance, do not loose your temper or insanity and hit your baby. They do not know why they are crying. If you feel as though you are going to loose it and do something stupid or such, please get some help. Call someone and ask to come help. Someone switch and take over, and do shifts. I knew a couple whose baby had colic 24/7. They literally enlisted help from both sets of grandparents to stay and help take shifts so the couple could go to work. This was a great help. This mom came to work everyday crying herself. She and her husband were at a loss as to what to do. After 3 long months, the baby was just as normal as could be. Like some one just turned off the switch. Some babies have it for longer or shorter periods.
When Dakota had it, we tried everything. The swing, the swaddling, reclining position, etc. The only thing that helped was sleeping on his belly in fetal position. Yes, I know the SIDS uproar and dangers. We tried everything to get him to sleep on his back. However, he would scream more. For some reason, fetal position relieved some of the pain. So one night I just had to pray really hard that if I laid him on his belly to sleep that God would watch over him in his sleep. I did not know what else to do. I was at my whits end. So, the next morning I woke with a start and realized that he had not woke up crying and I got up and looked into the crib and checked and he was sleeping so peaceful. God had answered my prayers. I was so thankful. My point is, you have to find what works for your baby.
Dallas would sleep on his back with no problem after a while. My first granddaughter would absolutely not sleep on her back at all. She would wake her self up and cry until you laid her on her belly. She is her daddy's minime. Her mommy was scared to death so every night for 8 months she slept with her daughter on her chest so she could feel her and hear her. LOL. I had to learn to do the same thing or nobody was going to get any sleep. She had to have that skin to skin contact and hear our heartbeats.
A baby might start out on their back, then as they get older and more mobile and can turn their heads, lift up their heads and roll over both ways, they will eventually wind up on their bellies sometimes. They have passed the SIDS point. Just remember to not put any covers in the bed or stuffed animals that can be a suffocation hazard.
Sleeping Habits: continued from above,
Some babies sleep good, some, not so much. Dakota took good naps twice a day and Dallas took only 30 minute cat naps several times a day. This drove me nuts, I could never get anything done. Our grandchildren were no different. Let's just say you will have to find what works for you. When Dakota and Dallas were little, Dallas was still waking in the night and it wasn't from being hungry, he just didn't like being alone. He never slept in his crib. We tried every sleep training method out there. Nothing. Notta. I'll tell you what did work. Dakota begged for weeks for us to let Dallas sleep with him, but we were so scared but I was becoming a zombie and didn't know any other options. The first night I put him in the bed with him, he only woke up once because it was new to him and he needed to make sure someone was with him. I went and laid him back down and covered him up and the stinker slept all the rest of the night. Now, I don't recommend this with all babies because co-sleeping is tricky and can be dangerous. However, I knew how Dakota slept and he hardly moved at night when he slept so there was no danger of him rolling over on Dallas. Plus, Dallas was at the stage where he was rolling over, and he could move freely. If you Co-sleep, you better be a light sleeper and make sure the bed is tight and secure from fluffy mattresses, pillows, covers, sheets, etc. Pull the sheets tight. Make sure to move baby away from spouse if they are hard sleepers and sleep rough like, rolling over alot or kicking or punching in their sleep. Whatever you do, do not co-sleep if you drink , partake in drugs, (no judging here), or have to take a medication that makes you sleep soundly. These are hazards to infants that are in the bed with you. You will have to train the baby to sleep in crib or bassinet. They now have bassinets that slide right up next to the moms side of the bed and is open so you can get them in and out easily to nurse or feed. And the baby is close enough they can sense your presence. You can even put essential items on or in a night stand table beside the bed so you can keep the light down to a minimum as to not wake baby fully. The items are easy and quick to get to. A trick I always used was, when they tried to wake up, I immediately changed their diaper first thing. Then I fed and burped them. The reason I changed them first is because when my boys would eat, they would get really relaxed and try to fall back asleep. If I changed them first and they got relaxed while eating or burping, then they were free to fall back asleep. Wholah! The process time was cut in half and we got more sleep. After I laid them back down, I would fix next bottle and put it in a little warmer beside the bed, have a diaper ready and burp cloth for the next waking.
There are so many sleep training methods out there to help get baby to sleep through the night and to take good naps. I am researched alot myself since I came across a few problems with my own grandchildren. One person I love to watch is Joe Joe from Super Nanny. She is awesome. There are alot of YouTube videos too of moms who use different methods. I had to learn how to get grandkids to sleep without pacifiers because momma wanted me to help break them from them. So, since they were with me during the day, and I had already been through this with my kids, I helped. It was not easy. You take it one day at a time. Start with short intervals then work your way up. Some babies may take longer than others to catch on. The main thing to remember is when you start a method, don't give up and stay consistent. If you start then quit, you are confusing them. Sometimes it was hard on me when they spent the night because they co-sleep with mom and dad and I had to do the same. I needed to keep the same routine and techniques as they did so it made them more secure and comfortable. So, I just did the same thing at night with them that I did during nap time, and they got use to that routine, it is adjustable for them and not stressful. Babies can get stressed when you try to do too many techniques at one time. Find one and try it, if it works stick with that one, and get babysitters and grandparents to follow along too. If one does not work, pick another technique, but start out slowly then work your way up. Stay consistent. When you get ready to do your research, just pull up, Sleep Training Techniques and you will come up with so many places you want know where to start. But, start some where.
Schedule or Routines:
Some people are so relaxed or spontaneous in their every day life. I have seen both sides of this debate and I can honestly tell you that being on a schedule and a set routine is a must for me. It was for my kids and is now for my grandkids. I will leave a note about schedules and routines. Both help a baby to relax more because they begin to anticipate what is coming next. It helps them learn self control, security and emotional stability. It makes their environment more predictable and they learn what to expect from their day. Just as adults like their routines to start their day or end their day, babies, toddlers and children do too. This also helps as they start into adolescent years. Trust me, it will come in handy in High School.
Our youngest did not like sudden changes. He would freak out if we did something at the last minute, or changed something. I would have to literally explain and tell him every little move we were making and prepare him for what we were going to do next. He had separation anxiety really bad. If I got out of his sight, he would start panicking and then start screaming. If he was playing and I noticed he had to be changed, I could not just sweep him up and be off with him. I would have to prepare him first and tell him, "I need to change you because you are wet, so let's pause just a minute and go change you and we will be right back." This continued even into elementary years. If plans changed about something, we would have to tell him about it and why so he could process it in his mind. No sudden changes with him. Some babies need routines to help them understand how things work. We had to have the same bedtime, bath time, supper time, every day. If we got off schedule, our kids were off schedule. Needless to say, one of our grand kids is the same way. Our oldest was a little easier. Not only does this help babies, but it helps grown ups as well. You can plan better. Plan around nap times, and especially bedtimes. Kids cannot function on little sleep like grown ups can. If you are hauling them around all hours and for long periods of time and they get cranky, what do you expect? When on outings, try to still keep the same routine, like knowing when to pause and feed and get something to eat or a snack to tide them over util. There is nothing like a hungry, sleepy, irritable baby or toddler.
I would love to pause and suggest some books right here that was very helpful to me (sadly years later) that can help get on top of time management and ideas that will help keep the house flowing smoothly after baby arrives. And I might add it helps in the area of a mother knowing her self worth, not feeling guilty because you are not Wonder Woman, and a few tips and tricks to stay ahead of the game on parenting and teaching your young ones. So much encouragement and positivity. As the moms of the home we have so many responsibilities, and this woman helps you learn how to balance all that you have on your plate so you don't feel overwhelmed and hopeless. We still have to keep the house hold running and it can be done smoothly. We are still responsible for setting the tone in the home and the energy. If we are stressed and wore out it will stress everyone else out too. We will be irritable and take it out one someone without meaning to. We have to learn to control ourselves first. A mentally and physically healthy momma is so important. Our positivity sends out positive vibes. If a home is always chaotic and stressful, you will have stressed out children, and the father want even want to come home. Home is suppose to be a place of peace and contentment. If your home is not peaceful, sit down and discuss this with your spouse or signifigant other. See if there is any changes that can be made to run the home and children more stress free.
Teething: Oh my Gosh! Just about the time you get into a good routine and everything is going great and everyone is sleeping and happy, TEETHING starts. And guess what? You will be dealing with this for the next two years or at least until the last molars come in. So many tips and tricks too out there to help soothe teething babies. Anything cold to chew on, like a rubber teething toy that has been put in the fridge. A wet wash cloth. Teething tablets work wonders especially at bedtime. Teething gel. Any kind of toy that is scratchy. Their gums are not only hurting, they are itching. Anything that is cold to eat, like popsicles, frozen fruit in a mesh teether. I have even put an ice cube in a mesh teether and let them suck on it. It numbs the pain. As a last option, over the counter pain relievers such as Tylenol or Ibuprophen. Please follow the directions carefully on these. One is for children and one is for infants. Please choose the correct one.
Next I'm going to share some Gmaw hacks with you. I organized my vehicle and I also have a nursery/ playroom fixed up with my own stuff so the parents never have to haul around a bunch of stuff to and from house to house. Since they were with me every day this just made practical sense. I wish I would have saved all my kids things growing up. I had swings, play pens, bouncy seats, you name it. Oh well, I just got to go shopping all over again. I bought practical things that I could get more use out of for the money and grows with them. I am limited on space so I also looked for things that was a smaller version of an item.
The first is:
Gmaw Hack:
Never, ever, ever, under any circumstances leave your house without a diaper bag. I don't care if you're just going down the road. In case you forget, have a spare diaper bag with just the essentials. You never know when you will have car trouble or something or one has an exploding diaper. Just saying. 🤦♀️😬😷🥺 Stock it with appropriate items. This is what I have in mine. Keep in mind that items will change according to the stage your baby, toddler or child is in. Of course diapers, wipes, powder, diaper rash ointment, and changing pad. So many public places do not have changing tables. Please either get a changing pad or a thin blanket for this purpose. Those little plastic bags, or grocery bags, to put soiled diapers in on the go. Remember to get them out of your vehicle if you change while out somewhere. YUCK!!!!! Medical needs such as, thermometer, pain relieving medicine, syringe, teething remedies, mucus bulb (suckie thingie), lol, finger nail clippers, etc. Feeding essentials like, bottles, sippy cups, snacks, burp cloths, pacifiers, baby food, spoons forks and bibs. Toys. EXTRA CHANGE OF CLOTHES! Very essential. Change them with the seasons. If your child or baby pukes or has a blow out diaper, you are in trouble. Both have happened to us. And if it is winter time, you are definately in trouble. I have a small diaper bag in my truck for grab and go and always stocked. I have another for longer trips or outings. Don't think you have to have a designer diaper bag either. This bag right here is actually a ladies duck hunting bag.(we are hunters, so they had to have a little camo lol). My other one is a back pack with so many storage compartments. I carried and still carry so much stuff that I have had other mothers come to me and ask if I had something because they didn't pack it or have it on hand or just plain ole ran out. So, I gladly oblige.
Gmaw Hack:
Portable folding 5 point harness high chair. I had to do alot of research on this one to find the one I wanted. There are so many different styles on the internet.
When we had family cookouts, it was hard for the girls to sit in a big ole chair that did not fit them. We would stack pillows or a blanket just for them to sit on but they wound up slipping out. Atleigh tried to sit on her knees but it started to get uncomfortable after a bit.
These work great in restaurants. They clip onto the backs and bottoms of the chairs. This saves from having to get a high chair and take up floor space around the table. Caroline got to where she would not stay in a high chair at a restaurant and would climb out. So.....that's where the 5 point harness came in. Kept that little booger in. 😂😂😂😂 Some high chairs at restaurants are so low they can't reach the table.
It folds up for easy storage in the trunk and has a strap and handles for carrying.
Gmaw Hack:
Of course, an outing would not be complete without my Gmaw Mobile. Yes, it's big, but there is no way I'm gonna try to hold or chase two babies. Especially in crowded areas. I do not have all the pieces on it. I just took it out of the back because I was cleaning and organizing my truck. I will do a whole tutorial on stroller hacks to create extra room. 😁 I love this double stroller by Graco. It was costly but it goes from Infant (it holds the matching Graco Infant Carrier that I have), all the way to 5 or 6 yrs old. Very economical for so many stages. It has removable shades for each child, I just didn't have them on in this pic.
This is Atleighs carseat.
There was a reason for the puppy pad in this picture . Potty training.
I used one to cover the carseat in case of an accident. It has a plastic liner so the wetness want get to the carseat cushion. Those things are boogers to take out and wash. I love my carseats by Graco. It is pricey but it goes from newborn all the way to 8 or 9 yrs old. Depending on the weight and height of your states child safety seat laws. Each grandkid will have one.
At the time this photo was taken, the youngest grandchild was rear facing.
Gmaw Hack:
I would like to go on record as saying I am a genius. I don't care what anyone says.
If they are still rear facing and can't watch movies in the truck, take a back seat mirror and a command hook (or something to this effect) and stick it on a light fixture in the very back. It is facing toward the baby and it reflects the DVD monitor. Score one for Gmaw.
Gmaw Hack:
DVD organizer for movies
Gmaw Hack:
Snack caddies for day trips. The little snack caddies( red and yellow) are so cool for toddlers eating in the vehicle. You can take their food out and put them in here and less messy.
Gmaw Hack:
Back seat hanging organizer. I have little prepackaged nonperishable snacks, wipes, puppy pads, packets of water flavoring for grab and go, sunblock, and some extra batteries for fans. Change snacks out frequently.
Gmaw Hack:
For stroller on hot days for outings. Mini battery operated fans for stroller. I use a binder clip and clip it onto the canopy. Or later I found rechargeable ones and did the same with them. I also found the ones that go around the neck like a neclace( for older ones of course). These things come in so handy on very hot scorching days when on outings. We will carry a few bandanas to wet them and dab on their faces and heads. Keeps them very cool. I purchased some of these later because sometimes the batteries onthe others would run down before we were done and not having any on hand was a pain. These are USB and they can charge. I used the same process with the binder clip. They have little body fans that are small and they wear them around their neck (preferrably and older child).
Gmaw Hack:
Lap activity/food tray, and neck pillow. Very handy for long roadtrips. They can use the activity tray and color or play with toys on it.
Gmaw Hack:
Atleigh and Caroline's backseat hanging organizer.
Toys, sunshades, hat, extra emergency cup, coloring book, coloring pencils and crayons. These come in so handy when taking road trips.
Gmaw Hack:
I do not go anywhere without one of these in my truck. Not just road trips but constantly one in my truck. You never know when one has to go and you can't just stop on a dime and pull over. Especially with little girls. Boys, yes. These have saved us numerous times. For the hard plastic one, you can put a puppy pee pad in it and just throw it away or you can carry a gallon of water around for clean out purposes. Your choice. Same goes for the blow up one. I like the blow up one because you can clean it, deflate it and throw into diaper bag or stroller for places that may not have a restroom or if there is a long line, or say like a Pumpkin Patch or ball field and it's a long walk to the bathroom. Get creative. We were at an event one time and the line to the bathroom was so long, people seeing me with a little one let me go ahead, but the stalls were still all full. So I quickly pulled out my potty, blew it up, put her in a corner, shielded her with a blanket, she did her business and we were happy. No accidents. I cleaned it up and threw it back into the diaper bag. Hey, you do what you have to do. No one saw a thing, potty was clean. She could not hold it any longer and I didn't want wet pee pee clothes. So there.
I hope y'all enjoyed my Gmaw Hacks for the day. The only time I'm helpless is if we are in Poppies truck. There is no way he can fit all that stuff in his and his attitude is:
"If we're out with the girls and they need something, I'll just stop and buy it."David has always made fun of me me for having so much in my truck. My motto is: "I'd rather have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it!!!" Cause that's how I roll baby. 😁😁😁
Keep reading for more good tips. Further down, I will show you pics with some great traveling tips with kids.
The Growing Stages:
One thing to remember is every baby is different. I don't care if you have 2 or 9 children. You are going to have 2 to 9 different personalities. My oldest son teases us all the time because, if we got onto our youngest differently than we did him, Oh my goodness. He would say, "If that would have been me you would have....blah blah blah!!!!" You get the picture. Let me be clear, they are not all the same. What worked for one did not work for the other and you will come across this too. The first year is all about bonding and the baby learning all about you and you learning about it, settling in, and the baby learning alot about itself. They begin to get somewhat mobile, discover their hands and feet and using a few fine motor skills. Their are great toys out there to help them learn these skills. Then you move to them getting more mobile and getting into everything. Each mile stone should be celebrated. Even if it is getting into everything. They are just creatures of curiosity and exploration. You can gently teach as you go.
Toddler:
Then you enter the toddler stage which flows into the Terrible Twos. Don't let that scare you. Alot of the reasons why kids act "terrible" when they hit this age is because they are beginning to feel emotions they don't quite know what to do with or even handle. My gosh, we don't know how to handle our own emotions sometimes either. Imagine how they feel. Their brains are growing so fast and learning so many new things at this moment that it is overwhelming them. This is the time when they soak up the most. They are watching every move you make and believe me when I say they hear every word you say even when you think they are not paying attention. This is the time to teach and train as much as possible. They want to be doing what ever you are doing. Well, if it's something they can do at their own little pace, then let them. My kids and grandkids have been in the kitchen cooking with me as soon as they could walk. Well, sometimes before that. I have wore them in my carrier while cooking or sat them in highchairs or booster seats. If they can't "do" it, they can watch while you explain everything you are doing. My granddaughters were 2 and 3 and they were with me in the kitchen making pasta noodles from scratch. Dough is just like playdoh. They loved it. I made miniature aprons and bought miniature kitchen utensils just for them to use. Now they beg to still make homemade bread with me or anything. My point is, a child can start learning at any age, just get it on their level. Our boys and our grandkids will try to help in house hold chores like sweeping, mopping, vacuuming. This stage has to be handled delicately. They are so mobile and independent they probably think they can fly. lol They will not like the answer NO. However, with a gently NO and a little explanation to go along with it, it want be so bad. I never liked someone just saying No all the time, because I was an inquisitive little thing and my natural response was, "WHY?" I wasn't being contrary, I just wanted to know the reason as to why I couldn't do something. Yes, it may get annoying after a while, but it sure will make someone smarter and cause them to learn how to start thinking cause and effect. They eventually learn logic this way. Also, common sense. It's not them being rebellious. This is part of teaching. One of my granddaughters would absolutely have a melt down about EVERY LITTLE THING... it was exhausting to say the least. I finally learned that is when I had to start explaining every thing to her. I tried to put myself on her level and think like she was thinking. It's ok to let them go somewhere and cry and get their frustrations out. I would tell her, "Ok, if you want to cry, go into another room and cry and come back and see me." Low and behold, she would go find a place to cry and vent and then when she was done, she composed herself, straightened her little princess crown and came to find me. It was then and only then that I could talk to her and her actually listen. Then I learned that when she got angry she didn't know how to express it. This also causes tantrums. I made her start using words to try to express how she was feeling or to try to explain what was wrong so we could figure it out. The there were just times that nothing I did or say worked. They just need to vent. Just like adults do sometimes. Try putting yourself in their shoes. It is a learning process and since their brains are trying to process so much they get overwhelmed as I stated before. Just keep these things in mind. There may come a time when a plan of discipline may have to come in handy. We will get to that in a minute.
Toddlers also have so much energy they don't know what to do with sometimes. They need to and have to burn off some sometimes. Make sure they are getting plenty of play time. Their bodies store up calories and their metabolisms are high.
Our youngest son was the same way. It helped them to understand better too. IT TAKES PATIENCE and alot of it. These types of learners grow up to be very logical, smart individuals. However, you may not think you will ever survive this stage but you will. I might add, there is a big difference between stubborn and strong willed. Oh yes, there is. Stubborn ones can eventually compromise. Strong will ones, NEVER. there will be more consequences following wrongful actions in these guys. TRUST ME!!! I've got one of each. That strong willed one, wore me slap out I tell ya. Exhausted me at times. They should come with warning labels and a sign that says, "Handle With Care and Nerves Of Steele!" I spent more time praying over that one than ever. He turned out to be just fine. They are the type that have to learn things the hard way sometimes and make their own mistakes, yes this breaks your heart, but it is how their minds work. Learn to start dealing with it now especially before they hit those puberty stages and teenage years. Throw in those with strong willed and Phew!!!!!!! I feel ya. Here is some more food for thought:
Proverbs 1:8
My son, hear the instruction of your father,And do not forsake the law of your mother;
Discipline: No, I am not going to tell you "how" to discipline your children, but I am going to tell you we are "suppose" to discipline our children. The Bible says we are to teach and instruct our children. Along with that is some form of discipline because you and I both know they are never going to be perfect all the time. No way no how. My children are no stranger to a little spanking.Yes, there is difference between spanking and abusing. The Bible says in Proverbs 13:24 24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
Ephesians 6:4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Be careful not to provoke them to rebelliousness. Remain calm and discipline in a way that shows them love and direction. Sometimes that's easier said than done and I really have to remind myself of this all the time. When you get angry, tempers flare and the conversation escalates quickly and they will tune you out.
Sometimes I can't help but think that's why there is a little extra padding on our behinds, you know, to soften the blow. lol Never, ever hit your child out of anger. Always try and teach and instruct first. There may be times when you have exhausted all other options. I have one that physical punishment worked, he would choose a spanking over grounding anyday because he wanted to get it over and done with, the other, not so much. he hated being grounded. You have to find an option that works for your individual child. One child may be more sensitive than another. Each child has their own personality. Know what works for you. I will say this, children are not to run the home. YOU ARE. If you are letting your child run the show, you are setting your self up for failure. I've seen kids strike and hit their parents. Oh No Honey! I have grown men sons now and they will tell you straight up they knew better than to hit their little momma. Momma didn't play. They knew what dad would do too. You can't let your children get the best of your and pull the wool over your eyes. I've seen mothers beg and plead with their little toddler to quit doing something. This is why children are running all over and taking advantage of the parents. First, there has to be rules, then the child knowing if they disobey the rules there will be consequences. Once there is consequences, you have to follow through. If you constantly keep warning, asking, begging, etc., you are teaching them just how far they can push you the next time. They know, "shes not gonna do anything" I told my daughter in law one time (after she had repeatedly asked, begged, etc) for one of the grandkids to stop doing something, that now is when you need to take action and follow through or she will never take you seriously. You have to surprise them and catch them off guard. She did and the grandchild straightened up real quick. She learned. Don't let them push you to that point. They have to know that you will carry through and that you mean business. Too many kids these days are growing up with no discipline and well, you see where that's getting us and how it turns out for them and their parents. Start in the highchair and they want wind up in the electric chair. Kids as young as babies can learn No means No. Like I said, set rules and boundries. Let them know there will be consequences and explain what they will be. When they disobey, carry through with your consequences. Simple. There are so many discipline options out there. I always loved watching SuperNanny. Always listen to your child too. Some behaviors are brought on by certain things, not just defiance or rebelliousness. We will get into some of that later at another age. Listen to their little hearts and explanations but let them know too that certain behavior will not be tolerated. I have one grand child that considers spanking a challenge and it doesn't bother her. So, I knew that we weren't going down that road so we came up with something else. I created a Naughty Spot in a corner. I put a little stool there and when she disobeyed, I took her straight to the naughty spot. She was to sit there for two minutes. (that is a lifetime to a toddler and its enough time) If she got up, the time started over. SHE HATED IT. After her time was up, I got down on her level and told her what she did was wrong and why. I then made her apologize. After a few times, she knew she didn't ever want to go back there. Now, if she acts up, I just ask her if she wants to go to the naughty spot, and instantly she decides she's going to obey. Apologizing is another crucial key. They have to be held accountable for their action, and feel remorse or guilty so they will understand why the behavior was not good. Make them sorry for what they did. If you don't they will grow up to become adults who never learn to apologize for wronging someone and never feel remorse. If there is no accountability, all the discipline in the world will be in vain. Discipline goes for all ages. It just has to change from time to time as to the stages they are in at the moment. Younger kids punishment is going to be different than that of an older one. Make adjustments.
Eating habits are going to change around this time too as I stated above. Just hang in there. Just offer small amounts of things and let them eat when they get hungry. Don't force feed. I grew up being told to eat everything on my plate and I still think that way now. It's hard to push the plate away now when I'm even full and I just keep eating. Let them be the judge of how much their tummies can hold. Offer new things to test their pallete. They may not like it at this stage, but their taste buds will change as they grow. Offer it again later. Cut things up small to prevent choking hazards. You can sneak any king of vegetable into something like pancakes, muffins, waffles, etc.
Hygiene habits need to start early too. When they are potty training teach them proper wiping techniques and washing hands. When they go to Preschool, Daycare, Kindergarten, etc, a teacher might not always be available to assist them. Even after they are potty trained, I still have wipes handy in my bathroom. I like to be doubly clean and I want them to be too. A child this young can start learning how to bathe themselves and take showers. They will not be perfect at brushing their little teeth, but they can watch you and then you can guide them, but let them do it themselves. After all, they are entering the :I can do it by myself" stage. The earlier you start taking them to a dentist to just get free checkups, the easier it will be and less frightening to them. They can try to start brushing their hair, but styling they might need help with. At this stage I would not trust them with Qtips. Especially if they have tubes in their ears. They can learn that a little older. Children don't have body odor until they get older but sometimes those little ones just want to practice with some lotion, deoderant, perfume, cologne. It's ok (as long as they are not allergic), at least you know they want to smell nice when they go out in public. This will help them develop habits that they will need especially in early Jr high or Jr high years when their bodies start changing. Kids need to learn to be conscious as to when their body will start changing and we will cover that later too at another age.
Potty Training: this is a gray area too. Some kids are going to be ready earlier than others. Some are not going to want to at all. No amount of bribing will work. You can start trying around two or even earlier and start practicing with them. Don't force it. If you do they will become frightened. Don't get discouraged, or upset. Be patient in this area. My boys trained early. First, they have to understand what it means to "have that urge" or "feeling" to urinate. If they don't recognize this, they are not ready. If they don't know how to or can't control it or the flow, they are not ready. They can't comprehend something they don't understand or can't feel. Then they need to understand and recognize being wet. When they start recognizing these things, its safe to start getting a little more aggressive but still don't push. Bribing may work now. Research potty training tricks. Try new things, like a training potty or a ladder that attaches to the big potty with a smaller seat. Some kids are frightened of a larger toilet. Go with the flow (no pun intended). Some kids absolutely refuse to use the potty. We dealt with that. They will catch on eventually. Some kids learn quicker than others. Just back off a little and let them decide when they are ready. They will eventually get tired of nasty booties. lol. What ever you do, don't make fun of of degrade them. This only makes it worse and the become insecure. This goes with any stage of a child's life or milestone. Enlist in some others to help. Like baby sitter, grandparents, etc. Some times they just get tired of hearing instructions from us all the time.
Chores: Why, yes, even a toddler can learn to do chores. This is what I love, a toddler wants to learn and want to do what you are doing. I have had children at my feet following me, copying me, etc., just because they want to be a part of what I am doing. This is a stage where you can give them some independence. They get tired of hearing the word NO all the time. Now is when they can do something and have a pride of accomplishment. The towels may not be perfect, but they are helping and learning. If you are OCD about certain things, let go a little. It's ok. Even a toddler can learn simple tasks. I had one that loved washing dishes at 2. She loved playing in the water so much, I let her at the sink. I ran some water and showed her how. Plastics of course. When our boys were little, I started teaching them at 2 almost 3 yrs old how to make their beds. Was it perfect, no, but they were learning. They helped fold towels and rags. They vacuumed, mopped, dusted. I started them out small and they worked their way up. No, it is not child labor, it is teaching them how to do things for themselves that they will need these life skills when they move out. We rewarded them too. I'll share that in a minute. As they got older, they could do more. I then started teaching them to wash their clothes. Now, my boys have their own places and know exactly what to do. Momma, you can't follow them to college or out into the world and do it for them. They need to know how to do these things, even boys. I made my boys a bathroom and bedroom chart for each of them. They were responsible for their rooms and bathroom. They helped my boys remember what to do because I had pics on it too so they could understand it at an early age. This teaches work ethics too. Our reward system was simple. We had marbles for our boys and buttons for our grandchildren. Yes, I helped teach my grandchildren. Every day that they did their chores, they got a button or marble. Each button or marble was worth $.25. They would collect them all week. I bought them a little lock box each. They loved putting their collection in their boxes and locking them up. They felt so important. Fridays were pay day. Dad would get dollar bills and quarters ready and he would tell them to go get their lock boxes. They would count out their marbles or buttons and dad would cash them in. This also taught counting and money concepts. Have you ever tried to teach a preschooler that a $5 bill is more than a $1 bill? It is hard because all they see is one piece of paper not the value of the bill. See?
Then I would take them one day a week to let them spend their money. I taught them how to shop economically. If they found something that they wanted but didn't have enough money to buy it, I told them they could choose something else or they could wait until they had enough. This taught them to shop wisely, budget and save. I was not going to just give them the extra money if they didn't have enough. That would have defeated my purpose. Win win for me. You can turn anything into a teaching and learning experience. And it can start early. If you wait until they get to be 5, 6, or 7 yrs old, you are going to be met with resistance. Have fun with teaching them and them learning. Make chore time fun, not boring. Play some music and dance, play a game and see who can get done the fastest. Teach them to pick up their own things and take care of them. Teach them to clean up after themselves. Put things back where they go. This will help you mom with the house cleaning. Let hem play in the sink and practice washing dishes. If they get water on the floor, hey, they can learn to mop it up. Its all how you approach it. Don't let your child free into the world without equipping them with what they need to take care of themselves.
Preschool Years:
I absolutely love this age because the teacher in me comes out and I am so passionate about this. No, I am not a certified, licensed teacher. I just love to teach. Teaching can start way before Preschool age. It can start in baby and flow into toddler. Reading is excellent. Even to a baby. They start picking up on sounds, words, emotions from your tone of voice. I sang to and read to our boys when they were babies. They wanted me to read to them all the time. THE SAME BOOK A THOUSAND TIMES...... but that's ok. Babies and toddlers can learn by looking at pics. By looking at pics they can make up their own stories. It is so much fun to watch a child go from one or two words to full blown sentences. We homeschooled both of our boys up until they decided they wanted to give public school a try in Jr. High. I have a whole page dedicated to Homeschooling. Just look for the title in the header and click on it. I have so many things I came up with to teach our boys and girls. Toddlers and Preschoolers can soak up anything. Repetition will get so annoying to you after a while, but trust me, it pays off. It is how they learn so well. A kid this age can learn a poem before you can. Start noticing any speech problems around the toddler stage because it will carry into the preschool stage. Notice, if their is any lisps, studdering, non-verbilization, etc. Our youngest had the hardest time with R's and L's. I knew this when he was little and worked with him during our reading times. I did not give up on him. They wanted him to do Speech Therapy. I intervened and learned techniques and did a whole lot of praying. After time, he got better and could say them correctly. Pay very close attention to their attention span, Some children have short attention spans, some do not. Toddlers and Preschoolers are not designed to just sit still. They get fidgety and that is understandable. You can do quick increments of teaching or play. You will be surprised at what they can pick up in just 10 minutes. Their hygiene and eating habits should be improving by now. They are perfectly capable of learning letters, numbers, colors, shapes, counting, phonics etc. So many learning activities and games. I could go on and on but I have alot of those things listed on our Homeschooling Page. Just know that this is the time that you have the most impression on their little minds and hearts. They will soak in so much at this age and it will stay with them. Their little hearts and minds are fragile and tender in this stage. They will also test you even more, so now you up your game a little more. Play with them, interact with them, teach them. Don't just set them down in front of the tv and it baby sit them. Kids this young thrive on affection and interaction. All they want is your attention. If a three or 4 yr old is having to tell you to get off your phone, well.....maybe you're on your phone too much. Please do not put electronics into their hands these days unless it might be an educational game like ABC Mouse or something to do with learning. Electronics is robbing our children of their childhoods. Get them outside in the fresh air, and exercise. Pay attention to their emotional needs. Some kids this age have stressful living situations and home lives. Stress and anxiety can affect children this young. They don't exactly know how to express it yet, but you will notice. You will know if something is off. I would give anything if all mothers that wanted to, were able to be stay at home moms. Oh, the education, and affection they could give their children even when they get older. I want to give you just some quick ideas to start you off with. Research Busy Binders, or Activity Binders. You can purchase some already made or make your own with Dollar Tree items. Sensory Bins, flash cards, magnetic letters of the alphabet and numbers. Pintrest, and YouTube are excellent. I love following homeschooling families and getting so many ideas. I'm just gonna leave you with some visuals of when my boys were younger and then grandchildren came along. Sorry for the overload, I got carried away. More good reading ahead.
Kindergarten through early elementary years: These are the years that they are learning how things work in this world. They are understanding how things are suppose to run. They are watching and observing everything and everybody. They are soaking it all in too. They copy cat at this stage too. They are stuck between kiddish things (5 thru 8 yrs of age) and beginning to mature to preteen stage (9 thru 12 yrs of age). They still want to be a kid, but are being pushed by peers and school officials to hurry up and "grow up". Even starting in Kindergarten, academics is pushed so hard that they are stressing the young ones out. State tests in public schools start at 3rd grade. It is ridiculous that kids cannot enjoy being kids anymore. These kids are looking up to older kids. Not to mention, these kids are learning things at this age that they ought not to be. A 1st grader can tell you about the birds and the bees now a days. What happened to protecting the eyes and ears of the innocent? That is my soapbox. Things aren't innocent anymore. There is too much on tv, internet, music, video games, etc. Nothing is sacred any more. It's just all thrown out there in the public for every one to see and hear. I remember when I was little and grown ups were talking, if a child walked into a room, they hushed in order to protect our ears. Not any more. Too many adult conversations in front of little ears. I remember my parents covering my eyes or telling me not to look if something inappropriate came on the tv. Not any more.Too many adult things in front of little eyes. Ok, I'm done ranting. I think. It burns my bottom. Electronics with social media is being handed to ones this young and it is ludicrous. Social media has killed some children because they were not taught and no one was protecting them. Ok, now I'm done.
On a lighter note, they start loosing baby teeth at this stage. lol. Watch out though, they will start cutting those permanent teeth and they will probably drive them crazy. Their hygiene habits should be greatly improved now. Brushing and flossing properly, brushing hair and styling properly. Taking better baths and showers. Eating you out of house and home because they have to feed those growing bodies. This is also a stage they try to start stepping out side of your boundries. You have to keep them reigned in. They just want to test you a little. They can learn manipulation real early. Pay attention to what they are learning in school. Look through text books and make sure they are not teaching them something that you have convictions against. If you will realize, some schools want let students bring books home? I wonder why? Some things are being slipped right into our children's curriculum. Get to know their teachers and school officials. Know where they stand on certain issues. If you are interested in Homeschooling, please research. Like I said, I have a page on our blog just for that. God gave your children to you, not the government. Remember that. Children can get stressed even at this age and start having anxiety issues. Start noticing if something is off with your child. Some kids will pick up habits from other kids. Their are emotions are still tender at this stage and you can still talk to them at this age freely. They will talk to you, but some may be reserved.
I want to share some things I jotted down in a journal from when my boys were this age. I dug them out so I could use this. This is things I leaned at this stage. I always hated the phrase, "Children should be seen and not heard" Well, I say Children need both. They need to be "seen" and "heard". Supressing a childs feelings can cause later communication problems especially in marriage, relationships, friendships, school, and you relationship with them. They start to feel as though their thoughts and concerns don't matter because they were always told to shut up, be quiet, hush don't talk back, because I said so, etc. Discipline can be counseled and explained too. Just because a child talks back doesn't always mean they are being rude or disrespectful. My youngest child and I are exactly the same in this one area. WE QUESTION EVERYTHING!!!!!!! When we were being disciplined we always wanted to know the "why". This always came off as being argumentative or talking back. My son politely explained himself one day to a teacher and respectfully apologized and disagreed with a teacher one day at school. She allowed him to state his case and she saw the logistics in his way of thinking and she told him that. She saw things from his perspective. That's all he wanted. This is what I mean when I say they are learning how the world is working. There is teaching in every situation. Tot his day, we are still the same way. I have to know everything, not that I'm arguing, It's just how I'm wired. We have to get it off our chests. When you take the time to explain something, it teaches them a whole lot more than you think. Seen: know where your children are at all times even when visiting someones house and you are wanting to have an adult conversation with someone.If they interrupt you, just politely say, "Me and so and so are talking at this moment, as soon as we are done, you can tell me what you need to" or something to that effect. Let them know what they have to say is important. Later you can have a teaching moment and explain when adults are talking to be respectful. Unless they are crying or bleeding, then, well, you know. lol Children do think the world revolves around them but they also need to know respect. I hate when a parent shouts at the children and tells them to go outside and play. They can understand that they will have their time with you and they will be heard and seen and have your attention. Sometimes in a situation, things can escalate and they start to loose their tempers and get upset. This will in turn cause you to get upset. You may just have to take a pause and both just go settle down and think and regroup. Then come back an discuss things calmer. Some alone time to think does wonders.They may be so frustrated they just need to have a good cry. My gosh, I do too sometimes. They have pinned up frustrations just like we get sometimes. Let them get it out and off their chest. This teaches self soothing and self comforting. In Proverbs it say, "A kind word turneth away wrath. Also remember what you pour into a childs mind, think or they become. Praise goes a long way. If you are constantly ridiculing them or criticizing them, they will clam up. Focus more on the good they do, and praise it. They will get even better in this area. If you call them names like stupid or lazy, well, you are doing alot of damage. You are destroying their self esteem and self confidence. They start believing they are what you call them. There is nothing worse than a child growing up to be an adult and have low self esteem and low self confidence.
Pre-Teen/ Jr High Years: If you thought you had to start paying attention to things before, you better step up just a little now. This is starting to enter peer pressure years. They are still caught between kids and now needing to learn to become teenagers. They will surely test your boundries and patience now. Even break the rules. The box they are thinking outside of, just got bigger. They have learned to navigate around social media more and the internet (I already told you how I felt about that). They are really pressured academically more now. They are even pushing college on them at this age. Really? Please let them be little just a little longer. Now comes the time when they might start shutting down a little. I mean by keeping to themselves, not coming to you with their problems and talking to you about things. I personally hated this stage just because of that. It was as though aliens came and abducted my kids and left me with some human being I had no clue was anymore. Their emotions are changing. Their hormones begin to change. You might get a glimpse of them every once in a while coming in and out of their room and that is it. Oh, and they may occasionally growl at you here and there, roll their eyes and slam their doors because you looked at them wrong. Yep, so it begins. Tread lightly but still reign in on those boundries if they break them. They will step up their game on breaking the rules and push you to your limits. Unless you have a perfect child, you should be fine. You have to learn to give them space at this age but not be completely blind either. Notice things when they aren't looking. observe changes in habits, eating, sleeping, moods, emotions. Remember, hormones are changing and this can cause disturbances that they don't even understand whats happening to them. It's also called Puberty. There are plenty of books on this and to help your son or daughter realize what's going on with their bodies and how to handle it. Now is when true hygiene has to really play a role. Deoderant and soap. Especially if your child plays sports. My boys had to constantly carry a stick of deoderant in their gym bags. Phew!!!!!! My truck always smelled like a locker room. Teach them about recognizing body odor. They are also eating more now and the grocery bill is rising. Seems as though you can't get enough groceries.
I want to talk about something here. Start watching your child for any sudden changes in behavior. I mean like extreme. Ya'll peer pressure gets really real and sometimes worse at this stage. Depression, anxiety and insomnia. There are alot of issues that cause these things. Experiencing in sex, sexting, (yes, its not a typo, sending nude pics) drugs, alchol and tobacco just to name a few. Pressure from officials at school academically. Signs to start looking for, loosing weight, not eating, mood swings, irritability, shutting you out, becoming private, isolation, not sleeping. These are all warning signs and should be gotten a hold of. Find out the cause. This is the stage where sometimes you can be their friend but your job is to be their parent first. Get nosey. You have to give them a little space but still be in the know. There may come a time when you may have to check their phones by surprise or them just not know. TRUST ME YOU CAN LEARN ALOT just by doing that. When they stop talking to you, they are talking to someone else and they are hiding it. They know it is not allowed and they are fooling you. No, this is not invading their privacy. YOU ARE THE PARENT NOT THEM. Who pays the phone bill? YOU!!!!! It's time to take out kids back from society and get them out of these pits they fall into. You can't push them to open up and talk but you can firmly and affectionately let them know you are always there for them. Try not to loose your cool, cough cough, unlike me. I cannot tell ya'll how many phone calls I got from Principals and teachers because my kids thought it was fun to break the rules. Oh, but don't think I didn't hold them accountable when they got home. They regretted it. We were all young and stupid once, and I had to keep telling myself that. However, no parent wants their child to make the same mistakes they did. That's why its called PARENTING. It all starts in the home. You will absolutely think you are loosing your mind sometimes and your patience are going to wear thin at times. Keep praying for your children. Even through the rebellious stages, they still hear you, even when you think they are tuning you out. Things will come back to them and they can repeat every word you said and then you will be like, "WOW you were listening after all!" Sometimes they will give their friends the exact same advice you gave them and they didn't even follow it. Yea, that happens. Go figure. These years might break you but you have to stay strong because we have to shape them into young men and women without pushing too fast.
Colossians 3:20-21: Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
Teenage/High School Years: boy oh boy!!!!!! You thought you had to step up just a little before, well, you are in a whole new league now and better crank that dial up to full capacity. Now, they really push your limits and break the rules. Unless you have a perfect child and then you're fine. They want to make their own mistakes, learn from them, do things their way even if its the hard way while shouting, "I GOT THIS MOM!!!!!!" Yes, both of mine did it, and let me tell you they did LEARN ALOT THE HARD WAY!!!!!!!! If they would have just listened to us sometimes, they would not have gotten into some predicaments they got themselves into. Oh, but they learned. lol Things get really intense in this stage. You really have to loosen the apron strings now, but there has to be trust issued. Now they are driving. So trust plays a big role in this area now. Curfews, going places they are not suppose to be going, hanging out with the wrong kind of friends, increased peer pressure, increased temptations such as drugs, alcohol, tobacco, sex, sexting, you name it. You have to get even nosier now than ever. This is how nosey I was. Who is your friend? Do they do drugs etc.? Who is their parents? Does their parents do drugs, drink etc.? Where do they live? Do they go to church? Whats their morals? Is there going to be an adult there? Ya'll I drilled my kids. If there was not adult present they didn't go. None of my kids were going to hang out at another kids house alone with no adults. My home has always been a safe haven. My kids friends parents knew this. We never left them alone, we don't drink, smoke or do drugs. I took alot of kids to church. I even whooped alot of my kids friends because I treated them like they belonged to me when they were at my house. Parents understood this about us and didn't have an issue. I always taught our boys if they misbehaved at someone elses house, they were going to be in trouble when they got home. My kids friends will tell you I got a hold of them too. They grew up respecting us because of that.
You have to do all the mentioned above in the Preteen years, but now you have to multiply that times 100. If you are not careful, rebelliousness can set in. You don't want to push them away but you can't let them get the best of you either. You know the old saying, "You pay for your raising?" Well, let's just say I did with mine. I am still apologizing to my momma to this day. God forgive me and he did.
I want to put something right here that I wrote and shared on Facebook one time I think to help other parents as well. Some is repeated from above but some I forgot to type so I will put it here. I had alot of parents thank me for this
Facebook Post: I want to make this post for parents. If my thoughts seem jumbled, trust me, I'm probably jotting down thoughts as they pop into my head. That's just how an overthinking mind works. 😕
Parents, stress, anxiety and depression does not just effect grown ups. It effects even down to babies. Yes, even babies pick up and sense moods from people. They can sense if you are tense, scared, nervous etc. Then they copy cat or they don't feel secure. It is proven.
Toddlers: they can sense it too. They may be too young to understand circumstances but believe me, they pick up on words, expressions and movement. Then they can process it in their little minds and start pitting two and two together. Example, separation of parents or divorce is a number one factor. Parents please, DO NOT have adult conversations, arguments, and God forbid, fights in front of your children. My husband and I have never fought, much less in front of our children. We've never fought period. Now, we've had disagreements, but we have always discussed them away from our children. Our kids can tell you they have never seen us argue or fuss in front of them. Certain things don't need to be discussed in front of innocent ears. Kids need security not chaos. Find somewhere else to discuss problems out of ear shot of kids.
Anxiety and stress effects children just like grown ups , just at a different level. It effects them emotionally and physically. It can interrupt sleeping, eating etc. Yes, it can. Teachers in public schools can testify to this. They are the ones that kids dump all their bad moods on and feelings. Some will confide in teachers. Kids this young need to be guided in to how to cope with emotions and circumstances and it's hard. But by them having someone to talk to helps.
Our church deals with alot of kids that come from the school on Wednesdays and you would not believe some of these kids home lives. I can't name them for confidentiality reasons but trust me when I say, it's hard to send kids back home into that environment when you just want to cuddle them and keep them safe. Its hard not to say something.
Preteens: start paying attention real hard to this stage. Well, all stages but this one starts becoming harder. Kids these days have more temptations thrown at them thanks to television, internet, and social media. 😑 It's not like it was in our day and age. It had gotten worse. Satan doesn't even hide anymore. He is walking around proudly in broad daylight and plain view.
If you watch TV you will know.
Red flags to look for: mood swings, loss of appetite, sleeping issues, isolation quietness and private, depression, suicidal thoughts. I swear, when my kids hit this age, I thought aliens 👽 came and abducted my children and left me with someone I did not even know. When you start seeing these changes, you better start getting nosey. Because before long they will start thinking that what they are hearing and seeing from other sources are normal activity. And these things may go against your morals, beliefs and values.
Get nosey with what they are watching, seeing and hearing from sources or even people. Find out who their friends are, what their parents are like, who they are related to. Y'all, I'm not playing, these are all factors to take into consideration. Bad influences can corrupt your child that has been raised right by biblically sound morals. Trust me on this.
This is a crucial stage also because of shift in hormones and puberty. PAY ATTENTION. Do not leave them alone to electronic devices. Even things can still get past parental controls. It kills me to see a kid this young or even in elementary school to have a cell phone. Don't get me started on that soap box.
Teenagers and High Schoolers: OH BOY, here we go.
This is a whole new ballgame. If you think you needed to pay attention to the previous stages, you better up your game on this one.
This is the stage that can get tense and tricky. Simply because they know they are becoming of adult age soon and they are going to test your boundaries and their wings. This is the stage where you gotta give them some space but at the same time hold your ground. This is also the stage where they think they know more than you as parents and they are set out to prove it.
I'm going to pour my heart out right now. Let me be the first to say my kids are not perfect and never have been just because they were raised in a Christian home with morals and biblical standards. My kids have caused me heart ache and sore knees from praying and crying out to God. They have caused me many sleepless nights, anxiety, headaches, and stomach aches. 😫 They were disciplined and grounded more at this stage than their whole life.
This age is getting more complicated because of all the peer pressure, temptations and influences out there. This age group suffers with more anxiety, stress, depression and sleep disorders. Then you throw in the mix if these kids have troubles at home like abusive or neglectful parents, alcoholic parents or divorced parents. I have had several of my kids friends want to use our home as a safe haven. It is awful and my heart goes out to them. They are my other sons. I have comforted and counseled many of my kids friends. However, my own kids wouldn't come to me to talk mostly because it would probably go against what they wanted to hear and what they wanted to do.
Be careful with this age. I can't tell you how to discipline or parent your kids because you have your own set of rules and convictions but there has to be consequences for wrong behavior without being so tight that they get rebellious and take a chance on running away. Lots of communication is the key and a whole lot of grace. One of our boys is stubborn but eventually listens to reason and will sometimes comply or compromise. The other, not so much. He is strong willed and kind of a rebel. He insists on doing things his way which is usually totally against our house rules. He is the kind that is going to have to learn things the hard way because he doesn't want to listen. 🙄
This mom is tired. One kid aggravated me more with his antics, the other exhausted me more with his.
You have to find a common ground with this age. Even a kid who is grounded can fall by the wayside by bad influences and peer pressure. Now you really need to get nosier than ever about who they are hanging out with and what they are like and their parents are like. My number one question was always does their parents drink or do drugs. Well of course I was not going to let my kids go spend the night with them. Get nosey about where they are going to hang out. Have GPS on their phones if you have to. I know alot of people are gonna get on the "that invades their privacy" band wagon. Oh well, we pay those truck payments and insurance so there's that. They also still live in my home so there's that too. You have to put your kids safety above their feelings these days. If they live long enough, they will and should thank you when they get older.
When they get 18 and they are still in school or they move out. It really becomes a whole new ballgame because if they do something against the law, they will be tried as adults in a court of law and there is nothing you can do about it. I refused to enable my kids by taking their side and still don't. If you do something against the law, and you were raised better, I'm not bailing you out. You will take the consequences and deal with them. That may sound harsh to some but I'm trying to raise respectable men that can function in society and obey the law. Its been a struggle but we're getting there.
Like I said, I can't tell you how to discipline or raise your kids, but please pay attention to the different stages and things going on in their lives. You should be able to tell when something is off by the way they are acting. If not, you better start noticing.
We are not living in older times now. Things have changed alot and gotten worse since we were teenagers. Sex, drugs, alcohol is rampant more now than ever. I swear it's worse now than Sodom and Gomorrah. Satan is stealing our children and their minds through TV, internet, social media, bad influences, drugs, alcohol etc. Please, for the love of God, start paying attention, we are loosing our young people. Step up, become the parents God called us to be. It's ok to say NO to your kids. It's hard to be their buddies when they are mad at you but eventually they get over it. I'd rather them be mad because I said they couldn't go somewhere or hang out with someone rather than putting them 6 ft under prematurely. They will grow up someday. Those kids that had parents that just let them go and do whatever had landed themselves in jail or prison or worse. I know some friends of my kids that this has happened and this is sad. Now on that note, I know a kids behavior can not always be blamed on the parent either. I know parents just like us who are good parents who raised their kids in church and taught them right from wrong and their kids still go down the wrong path. It is heart breaking I know. It is our prayer that these kids get back on the good and narrow. Hopefully God will bring back to memory their loving parents and their raising. Bring back the erring one the Bible says. It's not always the parents fault.
I truly hope this has helped someone. It has helped me just by talking about it. If you and your kids are still struggling and having trouble, please get help and counseling.
Don't Loose Hope: If you get tot he point to where you don't feel like you are seeing any results of your good parenting, please don't loose hope or give up. Whether they act like it or not, they are listening. They can have moments when they can choose selective hearing, you know, just choosing what they want to hear and tuning the rest out. but they do hear every word. It may not surface until later. I was listening to our boys one day repeating some things Dad and I always taught them. We're like, "WOW you were listening!" Focus on the good memories of them doing good and not the bad behavior. Even kids don't like their past mistakes thrown back up in their faces. Not to mention, if you focus on the bad behavior in your child will cause feelings of resentment and discouragement, even disappointment. They will eventually learn, even if its the hard way as I said before. That's why they call parenting the "Labor of Love"
Fathers: I want to cut in right here and give a big shout out to all of you. Fathers are the most unsung heroes out there. Your work and help should never go unnoticed and unseen. You have alot on your plates too by worrying about your families provision, protection, security, finances, among alot of other things. Thank you for taking care of your wives and children. You make sacrifices too for the family. Thank you for pitching in and helping with the laundry, dishes, house cleaning, etc. Babies take alot out of us and are very demanding we just get physically and mentally exhausted sometimes. If you are a man and you are not helping do some things, I would encourage you too. Even in the Bible the father was to teach and instruct too. That means, he spent time with the children and entertained them alot I'm sure. King Solomon in the Bible wrote the book of Proverbs to his son. He used it to instruct and teach his young son. He wanted his child to grow up to be wise just like him. In Job chapter 1, Jobs children were sinning and he went out every morning and prayed for them. EVERYDAY. Fathers are the spiritual leaders of them home. Yes, you dad. In Bible days, the Father was the one who read from the scrolls in the Old Testament. The father called the home to order and had the devotions. Somewhere down the road fathers quit doing this. That meant the mothers had to take on this role. Let's get back to our role that we are designed to play in the home. The Provider, The Protector, The Spiritual Leader. Their are all kinds of passages in the Bible concerning the raising of mighty arrows as God calls children. Look them up, read them to the family. Turn the TV off.
Women sacrifice their bodies to bring life to your children. They should be honored and respected. We all have a role to play in parenting. God will hold us accountable. But I do want to say that your efforts and love for your family is appreciated. When you come home from work everyday, leave work at work. Don't bring it home with you. Your home and family should be your safe place. A Peaceful place to come home and rest and play with the children. If your home is not peaceful and it is always chaotic, discuss some things with your wife and see what changes can be made before you walk through the door. You can go to our Marriage Page and maybe find some answers. But I want to leave you with some praises now: after the pics, keep reading there is more to come.
Don't forget some to the Gmaw hacks above too, especially the port a pottys. They will come in handy if you are stuck in traffic and there is no way to get to an exit. Or it is a long way between exits and they can't hold it.
Stroller hacks: carabiner hooks are a must have too. I showed you in my Gmaw hacks how I attached fans to my stroller. Get creative with creating more space on your stroller. Pinterest is full of ideas on these too. Search stroller hacks.
Boy oh boy, you made it to the end. I hope I have helped you in some way and gave you some ideas on how to make parenting more fun. I hope now you are more comfortable and feel like you can tackle any thing. I hope I have gave you some confidence to keep going. I'm just going to leave you with some more wise, meaningful and funny memes. I'm so glad you stayed.
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Keeper of the Home at 4D Farms
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